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Okay, I have to be fair and ask the ladies the same question I asked the fellas yesterday: are you sure you got that fire? Again, true story: on average sex in America last 17 minutes … INCLUDING FOREPLAY. But can the blame be placed solely on the men? Ladies, are you part of the problem? Could it be that you’re boring in bed and those short 17 minutes are, in part, attributed to your lack of creativity and/or enthusiasm in the bedroom? While women will often “fake it” and swear her man is “puttin’ it down,” the question is: are you giving it all you got, ladies? Is your man really getting a “good bust” or is your goody box climatically mediocre? Man fake it too! If you do the following, chances are you need to step your game up.

You’re a Lousy Lay – if you are the woman that is no fun in bed and sticks to your everyday missionary position, you’re boring him! If you just lay there and let the man do all the work, and at the same time, have an array of restrictions in the bedroom, you are NO fun. Sometimes you have to test your own boundaries, and if you’re a lousy lay, then this is more than a challenge for you! For starters, let him hit it from the back, he likes to see your booty in the air! He’s not at all worried about how animalistic it looks, in fact, he likes it. And you should too.

Foreplay is Lame – if you’re the kind of girl who thinks giving head a chore or you’re doing your guy a favor, then de doesn’t like it. Men want to feel like their woman enjoys giving him oral pleasure and while she’s down there make it look and seem like she would rather do nothing more for the moment. Faking it is not an option, men can tell. He may just let her go at it until he gets to a point where he can engage in sex. If you’re the kind of girl who doesn’t do much foreplay because you’re so sexy and laying there is enough, your foreplay is not only lame, you’re a selfish lover and you’ll never know good loving.

Stiff As a Board – if you’re stiff as a board, chances are your foreplay is lame, and you’re for sure a lousy lay. Ladies, throw it back at your boy, he loves it! You cannot be concerned with noises and the way things look. Get over yourself and get in the moment. Rock with him. Find his rhythm and move to it. Not only will it make things better for him, it’ll feel better to you. No man wants to feel like he’s banging a stiff, literally. He wants you to be involved and it’s riveting fun! Shed your inhibitions and enjoy yourself … or seek counsel. Negative body image and low-seteem need to be addressed at some point or it will effect every part of your life. Not to mention it’s an immediate turn-off.

Overly Romantic – if you’re the one who needs everything to be perfect and romantic every time you get some loving, you’re delusional! Spontaneity is okay, ladies! It doesn’t have to be a production every time you get some! Candles, a bath, champagne and strawberries are cool, but all the time? You should, first, venture outside the bedroom. Let him get it in the kitchen or on the patio. It’s not going to kill you to be a little outrageous and live on the edge every so often, and you’ll have fun. Try it!

“Pretty Girl” Syndrome – if you have that “pretty girl” syndrome you possess a characteristic or two from each category above. Do you know how many guys will can a “pretty girl” because they’re whack in bed? Do you know how many guys have said “she’s gorgeous, but there’s gotta be more to her than looks.” Pretty girls have to represent in the bedroom because there’s a stigma attached to being “pretty.” He says, “She just lays there and expects me to do all the work.” No, “pretty girls” must get involved too and be more than just a good looking woman in the bed. He might as well sleep with a mannequin.

Okay ladies, sex isn’t everything but it’s vital to a realtionship. The man you love may be with you because there are so many other things he adores about you and he may not have the heart to say you need some sexual guidance. But carefully read the text above and if you’re guilty of one or more, you gotta step your love game all the way up! It’s a bruiser to the pride but if you’re honest enough to admit you can do better, then all should come together quite nicely, and you’re man will be more than pleased!

Original archived article written by myself, Kay Lattimore