It is no secret that words alone can get a man or woman revved up before and during sexy time in the bedroom. The simplest of words can enhance or destroy the performance of either party. But in total honesty, most of the performance pressure falls on the man because quite simply, he has to stay up! Most of the men we’ve spoken to said they had an experience in which a woman said the wrong thing at the wrong time and killed the moment. And in a more extreme case, a woman sounding like an animal turned one of our commenters all the way off to a point where he never called her again, even though they had a connection … or so he thought!
It’s a no-brainer that dirty talk is a natural performance enhancer but how much is too much? Sometimes is there not enough? As always, communication is key, you have to know what your partner likes and dislikes and trial and error is inevitable. Can a woman say or do something during the throws of a steamy session that would leave a man feeling so strange he would never be able to look at her the same again? While some women would think that men would love to hear the most vulgar and sexually explicit verbiage between the sheets, they have boundaries too! We wanted to open the panel of discussion for the fellas, what do you like to hear in bed?
Yo! I had this girl at the crib one time and she was mad wild. I knew that about her from the gate and I was attracted to her because of that. We went out a couple times and I finally got shorty back to the crib. Her body was stupid and I was thinking, like, yo … this sh*t is going to be good! We started to get into it and she got on top of me and was making these crazy noises, like a animal and grinding in me too hard. She was so loud and I had a roommate at the time so I was like yo, you got to keep it down and she was grunting all hard and said “f*ck that” … like she was growling. I got a lil’ scared because she was looking crazy. I was like you got to go. I got up and showed her the door. She was too wild. Too wild, literally. – Jay, 33
I like to be called “daddy.” I don’t know why but I like it. “Daddy, papi” all that. I love that. But my wife asked me one time, “why do you want me to call you Daddy?” I don’t at all want to think or picture my Dad while we’re having sex. That’s selfish and gross that men like that.” She also pointed out that I don’t call her “Mommy” while we’re doing what we do. I had never looked at it that way. She killed the whole “call me Daddy” thing forever! But I like it when she screams my name though, she does that a lot! – Travis, 29
I like for a woman to tell me what I’m doing to her. Uh, for example, say for instance we’re riding down the highway and I’m running my hand up her thigh and she says, “you’re wetting me up.” But when we get down I like for her to tell me that I’m hitting all the right places. I don’t really care for a lot of screaming. I like for a woman to moan and talk to me. It makes me feel closer to her. When I was younger I liked all the nastiness and loud talk. But now that I’m a little older, I appreciate being close to a woman. Nothing like a set of lips on my neck telling me how good it feels. – Aaron, 31
I’m not really into the bedroom chatter. If a girl got the time to scream and talk a bunch of sh*t, I’m not putting it down proper. I gotta put my lady to sleep when I’m in it. All that screaming means, to me, is that she’s bored and trying to get me to finish up quick. Uh-unh. But I know I’m doing my thing when she’s taking it in silence. Moaning is definitely necessary but I’m a simple man. I don’t need a girl to be hooping and hollering and carrying on, it’s a front. – Zack, 28
It depends on the moment. I think there’s a time and place for everything. I need a woman to be able to gauge that too! If we’re doing a quickie in the bathroom over the sink, then I want her to scream all those nasty, freaky “f*ck mes.” But when we’re in a more intimate space I just like for her to talk to me and tell me what she likes, all the things she likes about it the moaning and lip biting. I love that. But again, I think a real woman would be able to tell what’s appropriate and when. You know? -Brandon, 29
Original archived article written by myself, Kay Lattimore